


My Choices, Your Decisions

by GothamNights



Series: My/Your Trilogy [1]
Category: Insatiable (TV 2018)
Genre: Barnstrong, Bob/Coralee mentioned, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, gay af, got hooked on insatiable, kinda spoilers, mentions of a threesome, season one, there IS a plot if you squint, whoops ma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-30
Updated: 2019-01-30
Packaged: 2019-10-19 14:07:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17602781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GothamNights/pseuds/GothamNights
Summary: Bob Barnard has always loved Bob Armstrong would always choose him, but Bob is struggling to see if he feels the same,Barnstrong feels tbh, really hope for them to be endgame but idek. Angsty writing that briefly jumps around season one a lot. Still suck at summaries though.





	My Choices, Your Decisions

My Choices, Your Decisions,

Bob Barnard was a successful man. He got everything he could ever want…, a beautiful, pageant winning daughter in Magnolia, a beautiful wife who was away enough to hide his proclivities in Etta Mae, an adoring crowd in being the District Attorney, Barnard had everything. But it wasn’t enough. Barnard was a man with an insatiable appetite, burning his way through fame, success, fortune, craving something to fill the gaping hole that he couldn’t seem to fill. Something niggled at the back of his mind, persistent and aching, something blond haired and blue eyed, something, someone like Bob Armstrong. 

Barnard had always wanted Bob, always craved him since before he realised the extent of his not exactly heterosexual leanings, before the illicit meetings in the backseat of cars when Barnard realised Etta Mae was never going to be enough, when he, the coward, couldn’t bring himself to break her heart. Bob Armstrong, the friend, the confidante, enemy, rival… was it too much to ask to add lover to those lists of honorifics? Barnard wanted, had made it perfectly clear he wanted, but Bob, Bob wanted Coralee, his wife, with their two perfect children. Barnard wanted, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. 

Barnard knew weakness, exploited it frequently, Christ he has won hundreds of pageants in such a way and no one suspected a thing! He dripped poison into Pastor Mike’s ear about Patty’s pregnancy, knowing it would shoot Bob down. Knew weakness, knew what buttons to push, what to fight, what to pull… but that was a mistake. Holding in his hands a blond toupee, Barnard knows he has gone too far, it’s too much, Bob looks crushed holding his head in a desperate attempt to preserve his vanity. He’s crushed, broken, defeated, pleading with Barnard to just leave it alone but Barnard cannot lie. 

‘Bob… you’re beautiful.’ It just takes a moment and Barnard is kissing him, stubble roughened cheeks under his palms, balm softened lips under his, the hesitancy of sexual identity and confusion lingering in the air. Bob slapped his hands away, grabbing the toupee like it is a ward against the thick tension in the air, backing away from Barnard like a wounded animal. But Barnard has tasted victory, tasted what it means like to be sated, knew what benediction had tasted like on Bob’s lips. He couldn’t let him go and the second time Bob kisses back, passionate and just as hungry as Barnard. But he still leaves, conflicted and confused and Barnard is satisfied what he always wanted is within his reach. 

He confronts the problem, circling Bob like a predator watching his resolve crumble and weaken, plying him with suggestions about infidelity and homosexuality, watching the warring emotions and denial, delighting in the thrill of corrupting Bob, yet also hated the subtle manipulations that have put him there, a voice crying out at the hurt he is bestowing willingly upon the only person he has ever loved. He feels infinitesimally less guilty the night Bob appears in his backyard, soaked through by rain, dressed as a preacher and quite honestly the most attractive sight Barnard has ever seen. 

Bob kisses him then with no restraint, taking what he wants like a man possessed, ripping off clothes to touch muscles and more, desiring and for once in Bob’s life taking. Barnard wakes the next morning satiated, naked and with a rapidly cooling spot next to him. He sees Bob dress himself, the light of morning revealing the extent of his infidelity, his betrayal of Coralee something so delicious it makes Barnard’s toes curl. He watches his lover dress, denying everything until Barnard pulls him into his lap, kissing him, devouring him until Bob admits the truth. 

‘Because I love it. And I don’t know how it fits the rest of my life!’ The declarative is an assured victory but Barnard backs away slightly, full of tender reassurances and cajoling care, knowing a little longer wait would only sweeten the deal. Barnard bides his time courting Bob in his office with idyllic picnics interrupted by the godforsaken Patty, standing by Bob’s side, desperately hoping the marriage therapy will fall through and Coralee will leave. But Bob himself becomes entangled with Patty’s image, neglecting Barnard in his sudden fit about sexuality and being the most you you can be. Barnard knows Bob needs time but his confession to Magnolia has left him wanting to shout it to the world, reveal the truthful Bob Barnard, follow Bob’s advice and be the most him he can be. Then Patty spells it out for the audience, teenage angst and vengeance directed at the very man who resurrected her. 

“He’s boning Bob Barnard.’ 

Barnard is the one to comfort him when it all falls apart, when Brick and Coralee shy away, running from Bob as if he is the betrayer for being who he truly is. But Bob, beautiful, innocent sweet, Bob becomes resentful, drawing away from the kisses and caresses, mourning the love of those he has lost. Barnard tries to get him to move on to grieve the loss, but still Bob refuses to cave, moping for someone who if he truly loved, he wouldn’t have loved Barnard at all. The thought causes Barnard more issues than he would have liked, the thought that Bob and he never happened a depressing, desolate one and one that Barnard removes from his mind until he cannot possibly take anymore of Bob’s melancholy pout. 

So, in the end Barnard gives in, texting Coralee from Bob’s phone to meet in the office and in that moment Barnard is willing to surrender, to give Bob away even if his very soul is breaking…give Bob back to the very woman he stole him from, erasing the past three days of bliss and truth but Coralee stops them. Coralee becomes too involved in the proceedings, inciting an attempted fling and then a threesome which Barnard swears he only did to keep Bob happy and smiling, he feels nothing for anyone but Bob, for to Barnard, Bob is the only thing that will keep him happy. Barnard couldn’t give Bob up any more than Bob could go back to the way things were before. What was supposed to be one final kiss crumbled Barnard’s resolve, shattering his heart in such a way that bittersweet surrender was no longer a viable option. 

Barnard stood in front of Robert Armstrong Senior and heard the possibilities. Mayoral duties, the guarantee of success which before Bob was something which would have excited Barnard to no end, but no longer sound appealing because of an ultimatum tacked onto the end. 

‘Break up my son and you could have it all. You’re not stupid Bob and my gay excuse of a son does not need the spotlight.’ Barnard froze, the words and insults scathing and burning and for once in his life out of love for another who he has wanted for over twenty odd years Barnard walks out the door, refusing the opportunity because to him, Bob is more important than any of that. 

Barnard arrives home wearied and tired, seeing Bob and Coralee in the kitchen with overfull wine glasses, something simmering on the stove and Barnard tries to keep his cool, he really does, but finds in this moment that he cannot. 

‘Your Dad offered me the position of Mayor but only if I broke up with you Bob. I picked you… and now I need you to pick me.’ The manipulation is evident but Barnard doesn’t care, he has given up everything for Bob, not this fantasy idea of a throuple with Coralee who despite being a beautiful woman is the farthest thing away from what Barnard could want. Barnard is greedy and demands Bob all for himself and Coralee stands the other side with twenty odd years of marriage behind her and Bob runs. 

Barnard drinks that night, heavily and copiously. He is usually in control, the Hot Bob who is seemingly better than other Bob in every way, yet when faced with the possibility that all this could be for naught and Bob could choose Coralee instead… why the choice is horrifying. Barnard can’t consider life without Bob now he knows what his lips taste like, the noises he makes and the secretive smile when he pulls out his caboodle and works the pageant magic Barnard so desperately wanted to understand. And now Barnard needs Bob to understand, wills him to with every sense of the word, because a no is the purest form of rejection and Barnard couldn’t take it. 

Barnard dreams of a world where perhaps Bob leaves Coralee for him but Barnard is not blind. Bob has chosen Coralee so many times before when faced with the decision of Stella Rose, Barnard himself and Barnard knows he will lose. He tries to resign himself to the fate but there is a part of him that is unspeakably angry, Bob satiated him and now he is left insatiable again, turning down his biggest chance for advancement for a man Barnard is no longer sure loves him. Barnard dreams Bob will choose him, but turns himself towards fits of fancy as divorce papers from Etta Mae fall through the door and Bob himself becomes a phantom disappearing as if overnight. The door falls silently no matter how hard Barnard wishes someone would knock, the phone rings dead even though Barnard wants someone to call, the world grows lonely that night even when Barnard wishes someone where here. 

Barnard can’t help but think it in those tender moments between dusk and dawn, bed bereft and barely slept in, the choice between sleep and awake, something tormenting and unruly, when the choice to add lover to the list of Bob’s honorifics is something that has broken him down. 

‘I chose to love you, but it is your decision that will choose me.’

**Author's Note:**

> Hi y'all I went on a long hiatus and came back with another two ships to add to my army, Hartwin and Barnstrong because both deserve each other. Anyway I'm getting back into writing and feel free to check out my other stories on AO3 and I will see you again soon. 
> 
> Love GothamNights xoxo


End file.
